Surprised by CIO
I post on another board of mothers of babies born in the same month as my DS. He has been having trouble going/staying asleep lately so I went there looking for info. I am SOOO surprised by all the moms using CIO. A lot of them even say that there is no limit on cry time at night and an hour limit for naps! Am I the only one that is shocked that so many use this method? I know it is hard and I have been exhausted this week, but I just take it as part of being a mom. Just wanted to put it out there and see what you gals think. I know there is the other post about the baby dying, but I just wanted to see what others thought of this method in general.
^_^:
CIO is not popular at MDC, at least in my experience. My son has had lots of difficulties with sleeping and I have never tried CIO (and never will) and never had it suggested to me here.
^_^:
How sad!:crying
I think too many mom's believe that if a Dr. or PHD says it that it is okay. They can't possibly be trusting their instincts.
^_^:
Yes I am shocked that so many ppl do this. I mean aside from anything else how do you not go to your child when they are crying??? I even know an AP mom s who did this and the excuse was " Well we only had to do it for a few nights and not for very long" WHAT??? How? For us we could just not do this, I mean I even go to my child when I am at the end of my rope and they are crying in a tantrum, our way is to soothe them through it, not cry them through it. I guess this is something that I will never understand. :scratch
^_^:
In the short run (1-3 weeks) you deal with the crying and in the end, yes, the baby sleeps.
However, in the long run, CIO teaches your baby that they cannot trust or depend on you.
CIO babies tend to be clingier, precisely because they don't know that you'll really, truly be there for them. So they cling to you while they *do* have you. How many parents want to *teach* their children not to trust them? And yet that's what CIO does, emotionally.
There are MUCH gentler ways to help your baby sleep. Elizabeth Pantley's "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" is a great book. MUCH better than any CIO method.
We tried CIO with ds1, who is now 5 years old. When he was 9 months old we let him cry to sleep. After 5 minutes, he shrieked like he was dying. After 10 minutes, he vomited. I jumped in and picked him up. He continued dry-heaving for another 5 minutes. He was hysterical and could not be calmed down for more than an hour. The next day he wouldn't make eye contact with us, and he shrieked hysterically the minute either of us put him down. It took about a week before he could trust us again.
We never, ever tried it again. He's now a GREAT sleeper. The few years of varying sleep deprivation we go through as parents is a fair trade, I think, for our kids' trust and emotional security.
^_^:
I don't think you will find much support here for CIO.
After all, if my kids CIO they would be, what 6-18 INCHES away from my ear--- no thanks!
How old is your little one? Are you napping w/DC? *That* can really help!
More Topical:
^_^:
CIO is not popular at MDC, at least in my experience. My son has had lots of difficulties with sleeping and I have never tried CIO (and never will) and never had it suggested to me here.
^_^:
How sad!:crying
I think too many mom's believe that if a Dr. or PHD says it that it is okay. They can't possibly be trusting their instincts.
^_^:
Yes I am shocked that so many ppl do this. I mean aside from anything else how do you not go to your child when they are crying??? I even know an AP mom s who did this and the excuse was " Well we only had to do it for a few nights and not for very long" WHAT??? How? For us we could just not do this, I mean I even go to my child when I am at the end of my rope and they are crying in a tantrum, our way is to soothe them through it, not cry them through it. I guess this is something that I will never understand. :scratch
^_^:
In the short run (1-3 weeks) you deal with the crying and in the end, yes, the baby sleeps.
However, in the long run, CIO teaches your baby that they cannot trust or depend on you.
CIO babies tend to be clingier, precisely because they don't know that you'll really, truly be there for them. So they cling to you while they *do* have you. How many parents want to *teach* their children not to trust them? And yet that's what CIO does, emotionally.
There are MUCH gentler ways to help your baby sleep. Elizabeth Pantley's "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" is a great book. MUCH better than any CIO method.
We tried CIO with ds1, who is now 5 years old. When he was 9 months old we let him cry to sleep. After 5 minutes, he shrieked like he was dying. After 10 minutes, he vomited. I jumped in and picked him up. He continued dry-heaving for another 5 minutes. He was hysterical and could not be calmed down for more than an hour. The next day he wouldn't make eye contact with us, and he shrieked hysterically the minute either of us put him down. It took about a week before he could trust us again.
We never, ever tried it again. He's now a GREAT sleeper. The few years of varying sleep deprivation we go through as parents is a fair trade, I think, for our kids' trust and emotional security.
^_^:
I don't think you will find much support here for CIO.
After all, if my kids CIO they would be, what 6-18 INCHES away from my ear--- no thanks!
How old is your little one? Are you napping w/DC? *That* can really help!
More Topical: