Do some babies just sleep well?
Or is the fact that mine don't seem to really my fault? THey seem to be light sleeper who are sensitive to what is going on around them and wake up at the slightest noise.
SO I am just wondering, is it my fault? (besides genetically of course though I could still blame that on DH). Is it really because I am always nursing or rocking them to sleep that they don't stay asleep or is it just that some babies sleep well and others don't? If you always nurse or rok your baby to sleep does this always create a sleep association that is hard to break?
So I do realize that I am being a little early in worryin about the baby since she is 7 weeks old, but I just want some hope that she may turn out to be a "good sleeper" by which I mean a baby who is able to get the sleep she needs, not just sleep all night. DD1 was never like that and still isn't. But I see people with babies and toddlers sleeping in strollers or carseats or whatever in the store and out and about and I wonder "how do they do that?". While my kid is about to have a meltdown because she is too tired but refused to take a nap?
^_^:
It is not your fault. All babies sleep differently. I used to say (when I only had dd1) that it was how you raised them, but dd2 proved me wrong :innocent
dd1 was an only child for 5 years and always slept great. She woke 1-2 times a night until we transfered her to her bed at 6mo, and she immediately slept through the night. She could sleep anywhere, did good naps (3 hours in the pm until last year), with any noise,...
dd2 napped anywhere for her 1st 2 months, but then she started to be awaken by any noise, only cat napped, nurses every hour at night (I'm lying, she's been nursing only 4 times a night for 2 weeks :eyesroll ) and her naps last 45 min at the most... She was used to the noise and to sleeping anywhere from the start...
^_^:
If you had asked me this question when my son was younger, I would have answered you differently than I will now. I think it's maybe 10% your parenting and 90% your child's temperment. Maybe 80/20, but that woudl be a generous estimste IMO. My son started sleeping 6 hours at a time at night at 6 weeks old. Then he quickly moved to 8, sometimes 9. He would eat quickly and then go right back down for at least 3 more hours. He took giant naps anytime, anyplace, and he always went to bed easily no matter what his nap "schedule" looked like that day. I was happy as a clam. Then he turned 3 months old and started teething and our lives have been very different since then. He started waking up again at night, at first once or twice more than he had been, and wanting to eat every time. I figured it would go away in a couple of weeks. Hmmm. It got worse and worse as he got older until he would only sleep for 45 minutes at a time all night. With GREAT effort (gentle, but persistent) we have gotten him back to waking 1-3x a night (USUALLY, unless he is actively teething. He is the grumpiest teether in the history of the world, I am certain). He also has gotten MUCH more particular about where he will sleep as he gets older. He won't sleep in the sling anymore, that started about 7 months old. The only place he will take a decent sleep is at home, in his bed. And I did NOTHING to foster that, it just happened. I have parented him the same way since the day he was born and he is constantly going through transformations and shifts and I am convinced that I have very little influence over any of it. I just try to hang on for the ride, KWIM? It's been like having 3 or 4 kids in one with him. Everytime I think I am getting the hang of it, there is a paradigm shift and I feel like I have to start over. This happens about every 3 days or so. I just try to keep up.
^_^:
I used to be really smug about this too....or maybe I was just a better parent first time around. :innocent But my daughter slept well from the minute she was born, and still does. It is hard to wake her and she's ten years old. When she was a toddler and up late she would ask to go to bed (if we had folks for dinner for instance). She loved going to bed, napped easily and cooperatively, napped after preschool well past her fifth birthday.
My son, however, is six weeks old on Tuesday and I am beginning to realize he may be someone who needs a lot of help surrendering to sleep. For weeks so far he is unable to sleep for long unless held or I am asleep in bed with him. He seems very sensitive to stimulation; when we have been around a lot of people he seems to get very wakeful although he is exhausted, and he's not yet six weeks! We went to an outdoor party today, quite a mellow time, not loud or anything, yet it is almost one am and he is still resisting sleep. He nods off and wakes up again even on the breast. Of course I had those times with my daughter but not until she was older and quite rarely. So I think it is temperament or something physical or maybe parenting...maybe this baby knows I am mature enough to deal with him, and my daughter knew I wasn't and it was in her best interests to be mellow! :)
^_^:
I agree that it mostly depends on the baby. I am so fortunate with my son, I tell people I am so glad I had him first to encourage me to have more. :)
If he is tired he will sleep through anything. He does wake to sudden loud noises though, but if he is still tired he will go back to sleep. We were flying from NC to CA with 1 layover. He went to sleep just before the plane landed for our lay over, he slept all the way until I got on my next plane. I even stopped to talk to about 4 different people so I could get help getting to my next gate. It wasn't quite at all. But my DH will sleep through ANYTHING. If the house exploded he probaby would grumble (in his sleep) for me to try and quite down. I however am a very light sleeper, I hear everything.
I was told to always keep a tv or radio going during the day so the baby would get use to the noise and sleep better. I don't know if this works but I didn't it. :innocent
^_^:
I think sleeping is not something you can shape too dramatically. I am a light sleeper and my brother is a heavy sleeper and we both were born a year a part in the same environment. My DS is, so far, a light sleeper and wakes often. I am sure I've done nothing different than anyone else here on the board with better sleepers! I had a friend bragging about her DD sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. We compared notes- we hadn't done anything different. Then along comes her second child and this one wakes up a lot and she is finding it tough to cope with the night wakings. A close friend's mother had 6 children - all of them parented the same way, all of them have different temperments and habits. I think you can only do so much and your babies will do what comes naturally. If you are lucky enough to have a good sleeper, more power to you (but please don't brag to us sleep-deprived mamas :irked: !)
^_^:
I agree, it's the baby's temperament. Which is why I'm against sleep training. Because it is exactly those needier babies who need to know that the world is a safe and trusting place.
My DD has been what most would describe an excellent sleeper from day one. But then, according to some mainstreamers, she isn't. My mother thought it insane that DD couldn't just be put down awake and fall asleep on her own. But we've never found it too much trouble.
One thing I know, too, is that things are always changing. What works for a few months, doesn't work one day and you find something else that does. When you are clear on your personal values, what lines you won't cross, then it makes it a bit easier, I think. We just did what was needed, and it was never too much for us.
My DD just turned two. She sleeps through the night about half the time, about 45% of the time she wakes once to nurse for just a minute...and occasionally we have rough nights but thankfully they are few and far between. She rarely ever protests going to bed. Most nights she tells US when she is ready to go to bed. I nurse her to sleep, which is a nice quiet time for me, and generally takes no more than about 15 minutes.
^_^:
This is what I figure, but it is hard to explain to other people (who's children sleep according to the societal norm) that my oldest just won't go to sleep even if she is tired. And it is hard for me to accept that she does not always take a nap (and so nor do I, even though I really need it right now) And she can be put down awake and fall asleep in her own now BTW. And she has been such a good sport about the shorter cuddle time and bedtime routine since the baby arrived.
And it just does not seem that the new baby is a good sleeper (since I had to hold her all day yesterday to sleep) And I just decided I didn't even care anymore, I just wanted her to sleep and I wanted to watch TV because I don't knwo what else to do while rocking a baby anyway. So we watched "insomnia" last night :D
I am trying to do what I can in terms of letting her fall asleep on her own but that does not seem to work well either. is, I can't put her down awake, but I keep trying.
baby naps sounds over...
More Topical:
SO I am just wondering, is it my fault? (besides genetically of course though I could still blame that on DH). Is it really because I am always nursing or rocking them to sleep that they don't stay asleep or is it just that some babies sleep well and others don't? If you always nurse or rok your baby to sleep does this always create a sleep association that is hard to break?
So I do realize that I am being a little early in worryin about the baby since she is 7 weeks old, but I just want some hope that she may turn out to be a "good sleeper" by which I mean a baby who is able to get the sleep she needs, not just sleep all night. DD1 was never like that and still isn't. But I see people with babies and toddlers sleeping in strollers or carseats or whatever in the store and out and about and I wonder "how do they do that?". While my kid is about to have a meltdown because she is too tired but refused to take a nap?
^_^:
It is not your fault. All babies sleep differently. I used to say (when I only had dd1) that it was how you raised them, but dd2 proved me wrong :innocent
dd1 was an only child for 5 years and always slept great. She woke 1-2 times a night until we transfered her to her bed at 6mo, and she immediately slept through the night. She could sleep anywhere, did good naps (3 hours in the pm until last year), with any noise,...
dd2 napped anywhere for her 1st 2 months, but then she started to be awaken by any noise, only cat napped, nurses every hour at night (I'm lying, she's been nursing only 4 times a night for 2 weeks :eyesroll ) and her naps last 45 min at the most... She was used to the noise and to sleeping anywhere from the start...
^_^:
If you had asked me this question when my son was younger, I would have answered you differently than I will now. I think it's maybe 10% your parenting and 90% your child's temperment. Maybe 80/20, but that woudl be a generous estimste IMO. My son started sleeping 6 hours at a time at night at 6 weeks old. Then he quickly moved to 8, sometimes 9. He would eat quickly and then go right back down for at least 3 more hours. He took giant naps anytime, anyplace, and he always went to bed easily no matter what his nap "schedule" looked like that day. I was happy as a clam. Then he turned 3 months old and started teething and our lives have been very different since then. He started waking up again at night, at first once or twice more than he had been, and wanting to eat every time. I figured it would go away in a couple of weeks. Hmmm. It got worse and worse as he got older until he would only sleep for 45 minutes at a time all night. With GREAT effort (gentle, but persistent) we have gotten him back to waking 1-3x a night (USUALLY, unless he is actively teething. He is the grumpiest teether in the history of the world, I am certain). He also has gotten MUCH more particular about where he will sleep as he gets older. He won't sleep in the sling anymore, that started about 7 months old. The only place he will take a decent sleep is at home, in his bed. And I did NOTHING to foster that, it just happened. I have parented him the same way since the day he was born and he is constantly going through transformations and shifts and I am convinced that I have very little influence over any of it. I just try to hang on for the ride, KWIM? It's been like having 3 or 4 kids in one with him. Everytime I think I am getting the hang of it, there is a paradigm shift and I feel like I have to start over. This happens about every 3 days or so. I just try to keep up.
^_^:
I used to be really smug about this too....or maybe I was just a better parent first time around. :innocent But my daughter slept well from the minute she was born, and still does. It is hard to wake her and she's ten years old. When she was a toddler and up late she would ask to go to bed (if we had folks for dinner for instance). She loved going to bed, napped easily and cooperatively, napped after preschool well past her fifth birthday.
My son, however, is six weeks old on Tuesday and I am beginning to realize he may be someone who needs a lot of help surrendering to sleep. For weeks so far he is unable to sleep for long unless held or I am asleep in bed with him. He seems very sensitive to stimulation; when we have been around a lot of people he seems to get very wakeful although he is exhausted, and he's not yet six weeks! We went to an outdoor party today, quite a mellow time, not loud or anything, yet it is almost one am and he is still resisting sleep. He nods off and wakes up again even on the breast. Of course I had those times with my daughter but not until she was older and quite rarely. So I think it is temperament or something physical or maybe parenting...maybe this baby knows I am mature enough to deal with him, and my daughter knew I wasn't and it was in her best interests to be mellow! :)
^_^:
I agree that it mostly depends on the baby. I am so fortunate with my son, I tell people I am so glad I had him first to encourage me to have more. :)
If he is tired he will sleep through anything. He does wake to sudden loud noises though, but if he is still tired he will go back to sleep. We were flying from NC to CA with 1 layover. He went to sleep just before the plane landed for our lay over, he slept all the way until I got on my next plane. I even stopped to talk to about 4 different people so I could get help getting to my next gate. It wasn't quite at all. But my DH will sleep through ANYTHING. If the house exploded he probaby would grumble (in his sleep) for me to try and quite down. I however am a very light sleeper, I hear everything.
I was told to always keep a tv or radio going during the day so the baby would get use to the noise and sleep better. I don't know if this works but I didn't it. :innocent
^_^:
I think sleeping is not something you can shape too dramatically. I am a light sleeper and my brother is a heavy sleeper and we both were born a year a part in the same environment. My DS is, so far, a light sleeper and wakes often. I am sure I've done nothing different than anyone else here on the board with better sleepers! I had a friend bragging about her DD sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. We compared notes- we hadn't done anything different. Then along comes her second child and this one wakes up a lot and she is finding it tough to cope with the night wakings. A close friend's mother had 6 children - all of them parented the same way, all of them have different temperments and habits. I think you can only do so much and your babies will do what comes naturally. If you are lucky enough to have a good sleeper, more power to you (but please don't brag to us sleep-deprived mamas :irked: !)
^_^:
I agree, it's the baby's temperament. Which is why I'm against sleep training. Because it is exactly those needier babies who need to know that the world is a safe and trusting place.
My DD has been what most would describe an excellent sleeper from day one. But then, according to some mainstreamers, she isn't. My mother thought it insane that DD couldn't just be put down awake and fall asleep on her own. But we've never found it too much trouble.
One thing I know, too, is that things are always changing. What works for a few months, doesn't work one day and you find something else that does. When you are clear on your personal values, what lines you won't cross, then it makes it a bit easier, I think. We just did what was needed, and it was never too much for us.
My DD just turned two. She sleeps through the night about half the time, about 45% of the time she wakes once to nurse for just a minute...and occasionally we have rough nights but thankfully they are few and far between. She rarely ever protests going to bed. Most nights she tells US when she is ready to go to bed. I nurse her to sleep, which is a nice quiet time for me, and generally takes no more than about 15 minutes.
^_^:
This is what I figure, but it is hard to explain to other people (who's children sleep according to the societal norm) that my oldest just won't go to sleep even if she is tired. And it is hard for me to accept that she does not always take a nap (and so nor do I, even though I really need it right now) And she can be put down awake and fall asleep in her own now BTW. And she has been such a good sport about the shorter cuddle time and bedtime routine since the baby arrived.
And it just does not seem that the new baby is a good sleeper (since I had to hold her all day yesterday to sleep) And I just decided I didn't even care anymore, I just wanted her to sleep and I wanted to watch TV because I don't knwo what else to do while rocking a baby anyway. So we watched "insomnia" last night :D
I am trying to do what I can in terms of letting her fall asleep on her own but that does not seem to work well either. is, I can't put her down awake, but I keep trying.
baby naps sounds over...
More Topical: