How much time do you devote to your toddler?
I was wondering how much quality time do you spend with your toddler per day? Up until my dd turned 18 months I couldn't read a book, crochet or do anything that was not related to her. She asked me to sit by her side and play with her. Of course, I didn't do it 24/7 but I had very little time for myself or none. Since recently, she is now 20 months, she is able to play a little longer by herself and this is the time I use to do things I like. I love Internet and I do mostly come here to read when she is busy but... she hates when I am at the computer desk. She understands that when I am cooking this is important for the whole family and she also benefits from that, same goes for cleaning, we make fun out of that. But, when it comes to things I do just for my pleasure, she wants to nurse to get my attention or simply asks me to play with her instead. Or wants to "read" my book, that means no real reading for me.
My question, I guess, is whether I should insist on MY time and let her eventually accept that I need my space or will she naturally progress towards more independent play? I used to go on Internet or read a book when she was napping but now she droped her last nap and I still feel like I need to have some midday time for myself.
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The computer/phone is a tough one,but i love to read too so I would give her her own book and say that you will read yours and she can read hers, Might work :o
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monika i have a v. spirited child so she felt things intensely. at one she would turn off my computer by pressing the button on the tower and later press some key to close my window. she dropped her first nap at 9 months.
when she has REALLY needed something she makes it v. clear she really needs it. so if she asks me to play with her i would. i would just stay up late at night like now and take some time to myself.
so i would say assess ur situation then. do u need ur time more than she needs time with u. honestly i never felt that way. i always felt her needs came before mine. and instead of fighting it, if i stopped and gave her some tme then there was a possibility i would be free again soon.
today at 3 sometimes i miss having her ask for me. she happily plays by herself. in fact i sometimes go and tell her i miss her and could we do something together. she never says no.
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Personally I cannot devote my entire day to my toddler. I would go crazy. The computer time is really my own people interaction time and its what makes being at home all day bearable for me, in that sense it is too important for me to give up. I don't feel bad spending some time doing what I want to do, and I think the fact that I have always made time for myself has helped DD play on her own as well. At the age your DD is at now, I would basically offer suggestions 'why don't you go find x?' or give her a mission and more often than not she would get caught up on the way or with the itme and not come back to me. Now at 2.5 she can play by herself pretty well, which is essential given that I now have a second one.
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I am in the same dilemma and feel guilty when DD (20 mo) is playing by herself and I use the PC! DD was/is high needs/spirited too and has only taken one nap for a very long time (well over a year?) also has been able to turn off the PC for a long time, and makes it quite clear when she wants my attention. But I am so used to spending all my time entertaining her even when she is busy by herself I feel I should be there too, but on the other hand I think its important they do learn independent play too, and we do need time to ourselves! I am still resolving this though for myself, luckily I have a DD who knows her wants and needs very clearly so if she does want me she is very specific! Points to the bed where we read MAMA - BED! I would follow her cues, and I make sure I do spend a lot of quality time with DD as well, which I am sure you do. Its a shock to realize they are becoming autonomous though and I am sure a big adjustment for us all.
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My question, I guess, is whether I should insist on MY time and let her eventually accept that I need my space or will she naturally progress towards more independent play? I used to go on Internet or read a book when she was napping but now she droped her last nap and I still feel like I need to have some midday time for myself.
^_^:
The computer/phone is a tough one,but i love to read too so I would give her her own book and say that you will read yours and she can read hers, Might work :o
^_^:
monika i have a v. spirited child so she felt things intensely. at one she would turn off my computer by pressing the button on the tower and later press some key to close my window. she dropped her first nap at 9 months.
when she has REALLY needed something she makes it v. clear she really needs it. so if she asks me to play with her i would. i would just stay up late at night like now and take some time to myself.
so i would say assess ur situation then. do u need ur time more than she needs time with u. honestly i never felt that way. i always felt her needs came before mine. and instead of fighting it, if i stopped and gave her some tme then there was a possibility i would be free again soon.
today at 3 sometimes i miss having her ask for me. she happily plays by herself. in fact i sometimes go and tell her i miss her and could we do something together. she never says no.
^_^:
Personally I cannot devote my entire day to my toddler. I would go crazy. The computer time is really my own people interaction time and its what makes being at home all day bearable for me, in that sense it is too important for me to give up. I don't feel bad spending some time doing what I want to do, and I think the fact that I have always made time for myself has helped DD play on her own as well. At the age your DD is at now, I would basically offer suggestions 'why don't you go find x?' or give her a mission and more often than not she would get caught up on the way or with the itme and not come back to me. Now at 2.5 she can play by herself pretty well, which is essential given that I now have a second one.
^_^:
I am in the same dilemma and feel guilty when DD (20 mo) is playing by herself and I use the PC! DD was/is high needs/spirited too and has only taken one nap for a very long time (well over a year?) also has been able to turn off the PC for a long time, and makes it quite clear when she wants my attention. But I am so used to spending all my time entertaining her even when she is busy by herself I feel I should be there too, but on the other hand I think its important they do learn independent play too, and we do need time to ourselves! I am still resolving this though for myself, luckily I have a DD who knows her wants and needs very clearly so if she does want me she is very specific! Points to the bed where we read MAMA - BED! I would follow her cues, and I make sure I do spend a lot of quality time with DD as well, which I am sure you do. Its a shock to realize they are becoming autonomous though and I am sure a big adjustment for us all.
More Topical: