Explaining to ds that he will never see a "family member" again....
How do I explain to ds that he will no longer be seeing someone that has been in his life for as long as he can remember? My youngest SIL, Beth, is 16, almost 17, and has recently split with her boyfriend of almost 2 years. I am glad they split up and MIL says she will not allow them to get back together. He was a lot controlling of SIL. But he was always nice to Billy. Billy loves him and, in his mind, he is part of the family. Everytime we went to visit at MILs we saw Garrett. We are heading out tomorrow to spend the weekend and I know he will ask about him. Lately Billy has really been into kissing and last night he was telling me who he wanted to kiss when we went to Granny's house. Garrett was at the top of the list. I want to be respectful to ds and I know that I will need to explain to him more than once that we won't be seeing Garrett any longer. I also know that SIL has to be devastated and heartbroken in a 16 year old way. Of course this is the best thing for her in the long run but that's nothing you say right now. So I am trying to figure out the right words to say to ds, especially when SIL is around, to help him understand that we won't be seeing Garrett anymore. The more I think about it the more complicated it becomes. I don't want him to think that someone he loves can just leave at anytime. I don't want him to worry that dh or I are just not going to be around anymore one day. Though any of us could reasonably die at any time I think that's a little deep for a guy that isn't yet 3. Any advice? Please?
^_^:
Honestly, at this age I would just ignore it as much as possible. If your DS brings it up and asks any questions, just keep your answers short and to the point. There is no reason to go into great detail of SIL and her boyfriend breaking up, and that the boyfriend still cares and blah, blah, blah... If it were me and my DS in this same situation and DS asked where Garrett was, I would just say *I know how much you liked to play with Garrett, but he's not going to be coming over anymore*.
IMO, the more you explain about things that you are worried that the child is going to worry about, the more likely it is for your child to freak out about them.
But every child is different, and no one knows better than you how your DS will react.
Good Luck!
^_^:
I think that ignoring it as much as possible with a child just seems not right. Seems to me like the OP is trying hard to respect the fact that this person is important in her ds's life.
Boy, this is a hard one. I guess how I'd approach it with my dd is by saying something like "You know that Garrett and SIL are boyfriend and girlfriend right? Well, they are not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, so you may not see G around Grammas house now." I think being honest is best, but keep it short and simple for little guy. No need to get into any details, this is something that can be said in front of SIL without making anyone feel weird. :)
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^_^:
Honestly, at this age I would just ignore it as much as possible. If your DS brings it up and asks any questions, just keep your answers short and to the point. There is no reason to go into great detail of SIL and her boyfriend breaking up, and that the boyfriend still cares and blah, blah, blah... If it were me and my DS in this same situation and DS asked where Garrett was, I would just say *I know how much you liked to play with Garrett, but he's not going to be coming over anymore*.
IMO, the more you explain about things that you are worried that the child is going to worry about, the more likely it is for your child to freak out about them.
But every child is different, and no one knows better than you how your DS will react.
Good Luck!
^_^:
I think that ignoring it as much as possible with a child just seems not right. Seems to me like the OP is trying hard to respect the fact that this person is important in her ds's life.
Boy, this is a hard one. I guess how I'd approach it with my dd is by saying something like "You know that Garrett and SIL are boyfriend and girlfriend right? Well, they are not boyfriend/girlfriend anymore, so you may not see G around Grammas house now." I think being honest is best, but keep it short and simple for little guy. No need to get into any details, this is something that can be said in front of SIL without making anyone feel weird. :)
More Topical: