Need Ideas: DD Has Started Throwing in Frustration & Anger
This is a new and recent behavior: When dd doesn't get what she wants, she throws whatever is in her hand. Sometimes it's a plastic cup, sometimes it's a piece of paper. She is 22 mo. old and quite verbal.
Last night she just got frustrated because I couldn't understand what it was she was asking for. She threw a plastic sippy cup across the room. Then she wanted more vitamins (she LOVES her yummi bear vitamins!), and when I said, "Sorry, no. You can have some more tomorrow!" she got angry and threw something else—a spoon, I think. At which point I was getting irritated and I made her go pick it up and bring it to me. [:gloomy: it was really stupid of me to do that. a big mistake. she started to cry because of the angry tone of voice i used] So then she was crying. I got down on the floor and held her and apologized, and I tried to explain that it was not ok to throw things around the house.
A little later we went to take a bath and she threw a hard plastic cup at me. I picked it up and said firmly "No. We do not throw things at people." "See, use gentle touch..." I handed it back to her, she looked me in the eye, and threw it at me again. So I handed her a washcloth instead. She threw that at me.
I was sitting there, thinking, how do I turn this around? So I playfully tossed it back at her, which she thought was hysterical. So she threw it back at me (mind you, she really throws at full strength, which is no big deal with a washcloth, but I don't think she distinguishes between soft & hard objects as having potentially different consequences, kwim?).
So then I thought, "oh, this is not going in the right direction. She may think it's ok to throw anything at me", but at the same time I was trying to keep it playful. So I splashed some water in her face, laughing and smiling.
Well, this did NOT go over well. She got really upset, started crying and wanted out of the bath. :( Then I felt terrible.
Sigh.
I need ideas, here. Besides stashing nerf balls around the house, How do I help my daughter learn to manage her frustration? How do I help ME to learn to manage my frustration in these moments?
^_^:
:notes:
funny, i just posted something similar.
^_^:
My daughter went through a phase like that which involved throwing things and hitting people when she was frustrated and angry. She'd often hit things she was playing with if she could get it to do what she wanted.
We talked about how it's OK to be angry and that everyone feels that sometimes but that's it's absolutely not OK to hurt people or break things.
I got her a little stress ball and believe it or not, it really helped and when she felt angry she'd look for it and squeeze it as hard as she could. This always made her laugh and it was defused.
Edited for major typos!!
More Topical:
Last night she just got frustrated because I couldn't understand what it was she was asking for. She threw a plastic sippy cup across the room. Then she wanted more vitamins (she LOVES her yummi bear vitamins!), and when I said, "Sorry, no. You can have some more tomorrow!" she got angry and threw something else—a spoon, I think. At which point I was getting irritated and I made her go pick it up and bring it to me. [:gloomy: it was really stupid of me to do that. a big mistake. she started to cry because of the angry tone of voice i used] So then she was crying. I got down on the floor and held her and apologized, and I tried to explain that it was not ok to throw things around the house.
A little later we went to take a bath and she threw a hard plastic cup at me. I picked it up and said firmly "No. We do not throw things at people." "See, use gentle touch..." I handed it back to her, she looked me in the eye, and threw it at me again. So I handed her a washcloth instead. She threw that at me.
I was sitting there, thinking, how do I turn this around? So I playfully tossed it back at her, which she thought was hysterical. So she threw it back at me (mind you, she really throws at full strength, which is no big deal with a washcloth, but I don't think she distinguishes between soft & hard objects as having potentially different consequences, kwim?).
So then I thought, "oh, this is not going in the right direction. She may think it's ok to throw anything at me", but at the same time I was trying to keep it playful. So I splashed some water in her face, laughing and smiling.
Well, this did NOT go over well. She got really upset, started crying and wanted out of the bath. :( Then I felt terrible.
Sigh.
I need ideas, here. Besides stashing nerf balls around the house, How do I help my daughter learn to manage her frustration? How do I help ME to learn to manage my frustration in these moments?
^_^:
:notes:
funny, i just posted something similar.
^_^:
My daughter went through a phase like that which involved throwing things and hitting people when she was frustrated and angry. She'd often hit things she was playing with if she could get it to do what she wanted.
We talked about how it's OK to be angry and that everyone feels that sometimes but that's it's absolutely not OK to hurt people or break things.
I got her a little stress ball and believe it or not, it really helped and when she felt angry she'd look for it and squeeze it as hard as she could. This always made her laugh and it was defused.
Edited for major typos!!
More Topical: